The pen has stopped writings [Divine (Allah’s) preordainment] and the ink over the papers (Book of Decrees) have dried.

– Hadits quoted from Sahih At-Tirmidzhi

We all have setbacks.

Painful moments.

Sometimes too painful even just to be spoken.

Bad things.

Sometimes they rip away our present,

also tear apart our hopes for our own future

Whatever that makes us stop in shock

and demand “How could this happen?”

Still in shock, we try to put ourselves together.

Collecting the remnants of what was shattered.

Trying to bounce back

from what appears to be the deepest depth of suffering.

That is resilience

Adam Grant stated that a person has no fixed amount of resilience. So the question is, how can we become more resilient. Resilience is like a muscle, it can be build up.

So now, let’s build up that muscle from Quranic point of view.

Yes we need that muscle strong and strongly!

Because life is never perfect.

How can we stay sane?

“Traumatic experiences can lead to deeper faith, and people with strong religious and spiritual beliefs show greater resilience and post-traumatic growth”

Option B – Sheryl Sandberg

The first DzulhijjahQuranJournaling challenge is about Surah Al-Hadid 22-23.

 

No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being – indeed that, for Allah , is easy –

According to psychiatrist M. Scott Peck in Road Less Traveled,

“All of us has tendency to be babied, to be nurtured without efforts on our part, to be cared for by persons stronger than us who have our interest truly at heart.”

“Really? I’m not like that!” we denied it.

“No matter how strong we are, no matter how caring and responsible and adult, if we look clearly into ourselves, we will find the wish to be taken care of for change.”

“Oh yeah,, I guess that true.. I enjoy eating gourmet food without the need to cook and wash the dishes. I like being pampered at spa palace. I also love a simple breakfast in bed by my husband..” we reflect at our daily life.

The need to be taken care of is fitrah.

Something that Allah installed within us, all of us.

It is universal.

This ayah answers that need.

If everything has been taken care of, why worry?

(Worry comes from nafs and syaithan, btw)

—

In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful –

—

A new developing idea in the west is that happiness is more longlasting when experienced in a calm contented state. So we are not swinging from ecstaticly happy to extremely sad, and vice versa. Just the middle state. Or Contentment. An acceptance of where we are today.

The ayah 23 teaches us exactly how to do it.

With Sabr and Syukr.

Sabr or Patience

so we do not despair when grief stricken

Syukr or Gratitude

so we do not exult in pride when overjoyed

Let’s step back for a moment and find a sense of calm in this hadits Tirmidhi, narrated by Ibn Abbas RA.

Know that if all people gather in order to benefit you with something, they will not be able to benefit you in anything except what Allah has decreed for you.

And if they all get together to harm you with something, they will not be able to harm you in anything except what Allah has decreed for you.

Allah is The Most Benevolent. Worthy of All Praise.

—

*Ashoba means hit the target at the right spot or bull’s eye. So our hardships has been duly measured and targeted, personalized only for us. Each of us. To bring us back closer to Allah.

*Museebah can be bad things or good things too. We only experience these on earth not in akhira.

*Mukhtalin or Self-deluded and fakhur or boastful means we forget TheOne who gives and provides us, proudly claim that all our success or state comes from our own efforts. Like the story of two gardeners in Surah Al-Kahf.