Today is a bit rough. My p is worse than usual. But there is always something good in everyday, right? Allah Maha Baik, is the mantra.

Alhamdulillah. A quiet night is always something to be appreciated. When you have kids, night time alone is much needed for your sanity, or at least, mine.

I can still remember the frantic nights of crying, nursing, and pooping. then crying and nursing. then NGT feeding. then crying and suckling. I haven’t move on from suckling part, but at least it gets less demanding. After (over) 3 years, they finally subside. Heuf.

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“Alhamdulillah.” That’s how a muslim should start her day. Waking up, offering a prayer, thanking and praising Allah for another chance to live and repent and do good deeds. For days, I haven’t been able to. For days, when I opened my eyes, I wished I didn’t need to wake up. It was kinda scary and depressing.

But Alhamdulillah. Since yesterday, my spirit was up again. Instead of “I can’t go on”, I consciously thought “God, I need strength from You so that I can face the day!” and went to salah. Phew. Alhamdulillah saytan didn’t win that time.

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