— rules of the world (#1)

Few days ago, one rule of the world was finally embedded in my mind. Well, I learned it hard way. Actually the lesson was simple (yet essential) :

People focus on WHO speaks and HOW he/she says it better than WHAT he/she says.

I actually find this rule pretty ridiculous. I mean, come on, how can logical people still think like that! Everyone has his own way to say something, one person says the truth with a nice tone, other says it with a sharp tone. People tend to feel offended in the latter situation. Not only tone they concern about but also who speaks. If someone who succeed advises you how to achieve your dream, you must feel encouraged. Otherwise if someone who fails tells you some tips how to succeed, you must think that the person is only blabbering. You won’t even care the reason why he tells you that although perhaps that person wants to warn you about the upcoming obstacles he once failed and he doesn’t want you to flunk in the same hole. Unfortunately the feeling of being offended & the thought of judging someone like that is already implanted in our society.

People call it; manner. If I don’t follow the manner, people will judge me as ill-mannered and be ashamed of my own family. So I’d better pay attention more on how polite I say something and who I am to say it. Up until yesterday I still stick to my opinion that this rule is foolish, but something changes my mind …

Today I was awaken by noises outside my home. Really noisy! A wake-up alarm that I can not enjoy at all, instead it gave me a headache. It was really disturbing. I cursed and I woke up to see them live. I opened my window and saw 5 children age ranging from 8 to 13 made noises (not music since it was so out of tone!) by hitting poles, cans, and buckets, no lag they shout out, “Sahuuur! Sahuur!”. Hwaaaaahh, I imagined myself opening the door and yelling at them to shut up and move out. But in reality I only moaned, “Uuugh, can they make a better sound to wake people up?? In Bandung the youth do it creatively and play it nicely.” When they reach my boarding house, the lyrics went like this, “Bapak RW, mahasiswa, ayo sahur. Sahur! Sahur!” (my boarding house is near Pak RW’s home).

I compared. I cursed. Then I realized, that I couldn’t keep my own words about “Rules of the world number 1”. See, suddenly I became one of those people who concern to HOW someone speaks rather than WHAT they say. They woke me up in a pretty rude and disturbing way, but their purpose was probably good. They wanted to wake people up 2 hours before the imsak so people would have more to prepare for sahur and do some tahajud pray. Hhhm, but I sighed and cursed at them, thinking that they were only a disturbance to the neighborhood.

I see. I confess that back then I was too stubborn. I understand what the rule means just now. It’s good to speak the truth but it’s even better to say it in a polite and less-hurting way. It’s good to advise people but it’s even better to prove how I overcome my hindrance and show my achievement.